“The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason, he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

We’ve all heard the saying “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”. This saying tries to encourage the fulfillment of a deep human desire to be loved unconditionally. However, we all know that this saying is exactly the opposite of what humans do. We judge each other based on perceived appearances and love each other conditionally.

This unfortunate reality is especially pertinent when it comes to sexual relationships. Men and women develop interest based on what they perceive on the outside. Women use all sorts of cues, mainly social cues, to develop a perceived idea of a man’s status. Men use mainly visual cues, developing a perceived idea of a girls physical attractiveness. Until people get through those first steps, they have very little interest in getting to know who someone is on the inside.

This article is an exploration of the intersexual dynamics between males and females. Understanding how these dynamics work will prevent us from falling into the various pitfalls of the romantic world. For in the sexual marketplace, deception is the rule.

Many of the ideas in this article have been derived from the following books:

The Rational Male
Models
The Evolution of Desire
A Billion Wicked Thoughts

The Feminine Imperative

The feminine imperative is the force that attempts to bend reality in a way that benefits females. Let’s touch on the different aspects of the feminine imperative.

Hypergamy

Hypergamy is the cornerstone of the feminine imperative. Hypergamy is the idea that women want a man that is of equal status to them or higher status. Women would often rather share a more successful man than be attached to a man that is less successful than herself. Women ideally want hypergamy with a man blissfully unaware of hypergamy. Meaning, they want a high status man that is not aware that he has options because of his status. Women are very attracted to powerful men for this reason. Power comes with high-status and lot of resources.

Monogamy

Monogamy is another one of the primary tools of the feminine imperative. It helps ensure that the masses of women can obtain provisioning from men. If most men were unfaithful, this would be highly disadvantageous for females. So, women seek to enforce monogamy. A strict monogamous relationship guarantees resources and protection exclusively to the female in the monogamous relationship. This ensures that she has everything she needs as she raises her children. Women that are in non-monogamous relationships are at greater risk of their man using his resources and protection on another female as he plays the field.

Attention

Attention is the currency women are after. Men give attention to women in exchange for sex. Women have many different strategies for garnering attention from men that they would like to garner attention from. This is a major part of the feminine imperative. Women will do all sorts of things to get a man’s attention, whether that be staring arguments or even attempting to make him jealous by showing sexual interest in another man.

Adaptability

Women are inherently more sexually adaptable than men. They always reserve the capacity to switch to a more successful male that shows up in their life. There are evolutionary reasons for this that we will talk about later in this article.

Social Information

Women rely largely on social information to make decisions about men. This is why women are more prone to peer pressure and the opinions of their friends. Women love gossip so much because it contains tons of social information. It’s no surprise that women consume soap operas in mass.

Desire and Attraction

Women want to be sexually irresistible to high-status men, because that gives them a degree of power. If men aren’t attracted to her, they are not likely to offer her attention or resources.

Tests and Cues

Women test men to find out if they are high value. They’re constantly pushing buttons and testing boundaries. They’re testing for:

• Confidence
• Security
• Options

The Masculine Imperative

The masculine imperative is the force that attempts to bend reality in a way that benefits males. Let’s touch on the different aspects of the masculine imperative.

Polygyny

Polygyny and promiscuity is a tool of the male imperative. It helps ensure that men get sexual access to many women. Every man wants to have as much sexual access to as many beautiful females as possible. Men only settle for a monogamous relationship if they feel that they have to. They only feel that they have to if they are pressured by religion, culture, family, or a female that they are engaged with.

Sex

Sex is the currency men are after. Females give sex to men in exchange for attention. Men ideally want sex while giving as little attention as possible. There’s a reason why modern day porn videos are very short and only involve sex.

Visual Information

Men are attracted to beautiful women with optimal physical traits. These traits signal reproductive and genetic fitness. Men can quickly look at a woman and decide whether or not they want to have sex with her. All it requires is a quick analysis from the man’s visual system.

Reverse Hypergamy

Men ideally want the women they are pursuing to be as beautiful and as low status as possible. This is because men inherently know that it’s easier to trigger the attraction of a low status female and easier to retain her once acquired.

Sexual Deception

“Women fall in love with what they hear. Men fall in love with what they see. That’s why women wear makeup and men lie.”

Male

Men deceive women by feigning status and commitment. They do this to trigger the female’s desire for hypergamy, resources, and protection. If he can make her perceive him to be high status and willing to take care of her, he can receive sex from her.

Female

Women deceive men by amplifying their sexual appearance and feigning innocence. If a woman can make herself appear more beautiful to a man, she can spark his excitement and sexual desire. By feigning innocence, she can make him perceive her as low value and easy to acquire and retain.

Mating Driven Evolution

Sexual traits and preferences have arisen from a long process of evolution. Studying intersexual dynamics through the lens of evolution yields a lot of information about the sexual strategy of each gender.

Male Evolution

Many of man’s evolutionary traits have been driven by fierce sexual competition with other men as well as from sexual interactions with women.

Beta Male Strategy

Beta male strategy is when a man attempts to poach a woman from the harem of an alpha male. Beta males make themselves more feminine in order to differentiate themselves from the alpha guys. They offer women more commitment and attention than alpha males are willing to offer. Sometimes, women choose to be with a beta male who will be loyal to her as opposed to an alpha male that she may have to share.

Physical Capability

Men evolved fierce physical capability. This is because for the longest time, men competed against each other physically in order to become high-status and attract females. We still see men doing this in the modern world as they engage in highly competitive sports and physical competitions.

Problem Solving Ability

Men evolved superior problem solving and the ability to endure immense amounts of mental and physical pain. They evolved this in part so that they could achieve high-status and acquire as many attractive females as possible.

Risk Taking

Men evolved the propensity to take great risks. Historically, if a man were to go along with the crowd, he would not receive the opportunity to reproduce. This is because the vast majority of men throughout human history have not passed on their genes. The only way to pass on their genes was to take risks and go against the crowd.

Female Evolution

Many female evolutionary traits have been driven by sexual competition amongst other females and sexual interactions with men.

Beauty and Lovability

Nature has designed women to be beautiful and lovable. The beauty plays on men’s visual cravings. The lovableness plays on men’s emotions in order to get them to commit to long-term relationships.

Social Information

Women evolved an incredible ability to collect social information in order to evaluate the status level of men. Their brains are constantly on the look out for any information they can gather to build an accurate perception of the men that are pursuing her.

Playing it Safe

Women evolved to take less risk and play it safe in most scenarios. Throughout human history, their has been fierce physical competition between men. This meant that women were always at risk of their man being killed or conquered by other men. If their man was killed, they could no longer defend themselves, because women are much more physically weak than men. So, they evolved a more adaptable biological strategy that allowed them to become receptive to the new group of men. Women almost always tend to play it safe and adapt to their surroundings when necessary.

Neuroscience

The human brain is shaped by our biological programming. The evolution of the structure of the human brain has largely been driven by intersexual dynamics.

The Male Brain

Much of the design of the male brain is for seeking out and acquiring female partners.

Visual Stimuli

The male brain is wired for visual sexual stimuli. As any man knows, sometimes all it takes is the sight of a seemingly nonsexual part of a female body for him to become aroused.

Sexual Jealousy

The male brain is designed for sexual jealousy. Men generally don’t care if their partner has had a bunch of emotional connections with other men as long as she didn’t sleep with them. This is why men aren’t intimidated or concerned by gay men unless they think they may secretly be straight. If a man finds out that his partner has engaged sexually with another man, he has the propensity to become extremely violent.

The Female Brain

Much of the design of the female brain is for evaluating which male’s to become receptive to.

Emotional Stimuli

The female brain is wired for emotional and psychological sexual stimuli. The female brain prefers stories over visuals. It is easier for women to get the information they need through narratives. This is why women talk and talk and men are more quiet and observant. It’s also why women are great consumers of romance novels as apposed to visual pornography.

Emotional Jealousy

The female brain is designed for emotional jealousy. Women generally don’t care how many women their man has had sex with as long as he wasn’t emotionally attached to them. This is why women don’t fear the girl that the guy used to sleep with but didn’t care about. They fear the girl that has an emotional connection with the guy they are interested in.

Sex Hormones

The sex hormones have massive effects on the structure of the entire human body. Sex hormones have the ability to permeate many of the cells of our bodies and effect epigenetic processes. Understanding their effects is essential to understanding intersexual dynamics.

Testosterone

Testosterone masculinizes male bodies and minds. It has drastic effects on the behavior of a man and his level of sexual energy.

Capacity for Work

Testosterone increases men’s capacity for work. Part of that work being the pursuit of women. It also increases a male’s capacity to work for status and resources.

Perception

Healthy testosterone levels cause men to see women as sex objects. It also causes the activation of parts of their brain involved in manipulating objects. It is no surprise that women often complain about men only caring about sex and viewing them as sex objects.

Sexual Energy

Men have far more sexual energy than women which they redirect into more outlets than women. This is why men have historically been conquerers and empire builders. The highest testosterone men with the most sexual energy are often the men you will find at the top of hierarchies across all realms of human life.

Estrogen

Estrogen feminizes female bodies and minds. It has major effects on female behavior and their level of sexual characteristics.

Ornaments

Estrogen signals the body to build up female ornaments. Women in their peak sexual stage shuttle fat to their butt and breasts. They’re naturally designed to do this in order to trigger the visual systems of men.

Receptivity

Estrogen is involved in female receptivity. Women with higher levels of estrogen are more receptive to advances from men that they deem to be good sexual options.

Testosterone in Females

During ovulation, women’s testosterone levels raise a bit. This leads them to seek out sex more aggressively and look for more for visual cues. Basically, it makes their sexual strategy a bit more masculine for that small period of time.

Communication

Females and men have different preferred styles of communication. This is due to their different sexual and social goals.

Male Overt Communication

Men communicate overtly. Male communication is more straightforward and focused on problem solving. This is because men don’t need to gather a bunch of social information to decide who they’re attracted to. All they have to do is look at a female to know if they want to have sex with her.

Female Covert Communication

Women communicate covertly. Feminine communication can seem highly dysfunctional for this reason. Behind many things women say, there is hidden meaning. Women communicate in this way because it allows them to be non-confrontational while still secretly gathering information based on body language and facial expressions. This is why men often complain about women getting upset about their actions even though they gave their verbal approval.

Sexual Fantasies

Looking at the sexual fantasies of each sex gives us great insights into the nature of intersexual dynamics.

Female Fantasies

The favorite female fantasy is about a young innocent female coming across an alpha male that becomes irresistibly attracted to the young female. She is eventually able to tame him into a monogamous relationship. Women want to believe that they are the only one that can crack open the particular alpha man. The goal of female stories is a monogamous relationship with secured provisioning from a secure man.

Male Fantasies

Men’s favorite fantasy is about a young attractive female that doesn’t use her brain whatsoever and is willing to have sex with him on the spot. The goal of male fantasies is always sex and orgasm.

Sexual Market Value

The realities of sexual market value drive a lot of the decisions that men and women make within the sexual marketplace.

Female Value

Female sexual market value peaks around 22-24 years old. These are the years when she is at the height of her beauty and reproductive ability.

Male Value

Male sexual market value peaks around 36 years old. This is the age that men tend to be at the peak of their resources and status. Men at this age also tend to be strong, confident, and intelligent.

Conclusion

This article is designed to be a framework for viewing the world of sex and romance. It lays out the biology and psychology of human mating. It can be used to navigate the complex interactions between the sexes and can be revisited at any time.